We are created by God as sexual beings. 

For something that seems a small matter. God seems to address it at length. 

It is no small matter. 

How we live out our sexuality has so much power. For good and for pain. It can act as glue to help us be connected in marriage. But misused, can rip relationships, hearts, and lives apart. It seems to have this power even over civilizations. Maybe the Creator of our sexuality has the instruction on how it might work for our benefit and bring us life and not destruction. 

I write this out of a pondering….and question that is coming up in the church, where I personally least expected.  I have encountered many people, who are sincere in their desire to follow Jesus and love God, but are asking the question of what does the Bible actually say about what is right and wrong when it comes to how we live out our sexuality. Do we actually need to go by what is in the commands God gave in the beginning? Do we go by what Paul wrote in the letters in the New Testament?  Or do we only go by what Jesus said? And did Jesus really say, (fill in the blank)?

I search out this topic in scripture and write this, not for some, but for myself, for all of us. We are all sexual. It doesn’t matter if we are married, single, male, female, young, or old. We all have a sin nature. We all deal with our tempter Satan. He is always trying to get us to question,  as he did with Eve in the beginning, “Did God really say…?” He is always seeking a way to bring destruction and pain to our lives where God has purposes and life to bring us.

We, as lovers of God, as Jesus followers, need to know. We need to know what He said. We need to know why.

So let’s look at it. What is ‘sexual immorality’ by scriptural standards?

Early on in Scripture, God gave 10 commandments to Moses to write down and give to the people. Right after that recording in Scripture, God then gave more detailed commands in Leviticus 18-20 and in Deuteronomy 22. Some argue, that when Jesus came, He dismissed the commands, the “Law” God had given Moses for God’s people.  But Jesus Himself said, “I haven’t come to get rid of the Law, I came to fulfill it.” He said every “I” of it would be dotted, every ’t’ would be crossed. (Matthew 5:17-18)

Some argue that our sexual ethic should come only from the words of Jesus. So, let’s look at that. When Jesus addressed sexual behavior, He did not go item by item and detail what was sinful sexual behavior. He used a general term, ‘pornea’. It is often translated from the original language into English as ‘sexual immorality’ or ‘fornication’. The meaning of pornea is sexual behavior that is immoral, or outside of moral. 

Well, we have to ask, ‘What did Jesus refer to in defining what was immoral?”  He was a Jew. He was speaking to Jews, who God called, “My people.”  When Jesus was teaching, what did He Himself refer to as authoritative to back up what he was saying to His audience? All through the accounts of Jesus’ ministry, He referenced to the Scriptures of that day to prove what He was saying was truth. He repeatedly refers to by name and quotes from what he called “The Law and the Prophets.” What God, His Father spoke directly to Moses for the people, and what He also spoke to prophets for the people throughout the years. It is what we have in our Bibles as the Old Testament for the most part. So, as Jesus followers, let’s do as Jesus did. Let’s refer to how God instructed the people to define morality.

For some context of the scripture in we’ll look at in Leviticus, God was calling HIs people to be set apart, as His holy people, that represented Him.

He said, “I am the Lord your God…So do not act like the people in ______. You must not imitate their way of life. You must obey My regulations and decrees.” (Lev.18:2-3) When testing our behavior against this context, we need to ask, ‘Is my behavior imitating the culture I live in, or is it separate from the culture and holy to God?’

He goes on, regarding why He has these regulations for His people.

“If you obey my commands, you will find life through them. I am the Lord.”(Lev. 18:4-5)

He gives us instruction so we will find life, not destruction and death. 

He gets very detailed in defining these commands.

“Don’t have sex with a close relative. 

Don’t have sex with your mother.

Don’t have sex with your any of your father’s wives. (They had multiple wives then.)

Don’t have sex with your sister, or half sister, or granddaughter, or stepsister.

Don’t have sex with your aunt, uncle’s wife, daughter-in-law, or sister-in-law.

Don’t have sex with a woman and her daughter, or a granddaughter.

While your wife is living, don’t marry her sister.

Don’t have sex with your neighbor’s wife. ‘(vs. 6-18)

These would all apply to both genders.

“Don’t practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman.

Don’t have sex with an animal.

These practices have defiled the people and the land.

You must not commit these detestable sins.” (lLev. 18:18-30)

Leviticus 21:9 refers to a person “defiling” themselves by committing ‘zana’ (Hebrew) -sex with someone they are not married to.

Scripture is also clear in God’s command to not commit adultery, defined as being married and having sex with anyone other than your spouse, or being single and having sex with a married person.

To be single and have sex is defined as ‘shameful conduct.” The clear expectation when getting married was that your spouse would be a virgin. This obviously is a result of not having sex as a single person. This clarifies further that sex between single people was referred to as ‘evil’ and ‘folly’ and there was prescription for its punishment. (Deut. 22:14) It is also clear about two single people having consensual sex. The text states if this has occurred it is wrong, and they should get married, in order to make it right, and never to divorce. (Deut. 22:28-29) 

Basically, it was clearly understood from the direct quotes from God, that His definition was for sex to be between people who were married in the eyes of the culture, and within the legal definitions of marriage within that time and place. 

Now, let’s look at what Jesus did address specifically.

When Jesus came on the scene, He did not carry out punishment in the way the Law prescribed. In doing so He was not the kinder face of God, He was the exact representation of the same God who gave the commands and punishments for sin in the Old Testament. Jesus said regarding His first coming to earth, that His purpose was not to carry out punishment. (That will come in the future at His second coming.) He said He came to save, because it is already condemned (to death). (John 3:17) So in that context, how did He address sin and respond to it? 

We see in Scriptures a scene where the religious leaders in trying to trap Jesus, brought a woman to Him caught in the act of adultery. (John 8:3-12) They want to stone her as the law prescribes. Jesus basically levels the playing field and says, my paraphrase, “The one here who has not committed sin, as the law defines, go ahead and start this stoning death sentence.” Well, obviously no one could. So He turns to her and says, “I don’t condemn you (to death) either.” Some decide to stop there to justify their sexual sin. But Jesus didn’t stop there. He continued. He addressed her with this…

“Go forward from here, and from now on, STOP SINNING.” “STOP IT”

The very next thing recorded that Jesus says to all that are around to hear…

‘I am the LIGHT of the world. Whoever follows Me WON’T BE WALKING IN DARKNESS ANYMORE. You will have the Light of life.” He’s saying if you are My follower, you won’t keep walking in darkness. You will be doing what I say and be walking in light and have life. This reminds me of what God the Father said just before giving the definition of sexual purity, quoted earlier. “If you obey my commands, you will find life through them. I am the Lord.”(Exodus 18:4-5)

Jesus also addressed a Samaritan woman. HIs whole point in addressing her sin, was to show her both her dignity and her need for Him, and her sin simultaneously. Without ever meeting her before, He called out the fact that she’d been married 5 times prior and that she was living with and having sex with a man she was not married to. We see here an example that living with and having sex with someone, does not equate to being married to them in the eyes of God. She marveled that he knew her, without her knowing Him prior. She went and told all her friends of His power. It was clearly understood between them that her behavior was in violation of what God wanted for her. (John 4)

If we want to look further in the New Testament, Paul addresses ‘porneia’ throughout his letters to the churches. Again it’s a general term used to address all sexual activity that exists outside of a man and a woman in marriage to each other.  (as previously defined in Scripture)

In that time, and the culture church was living amongst, Paul gives them instruction on how to be pure sexually. That if you weren’t going be celibate there was one other option. “Because there is so much sexual immorality “porneia” each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.” And that they should be sure to take care of each other’s sexual needs. (1 Cor. 7:2-5)

Some argue that if Jesus didn’t specifically address a particular sexual behavior, then it must be ok to do in the eyes of God. As previously mentioned, Jesus used the term ‘porneia’ or translated as ‘sexual immorality’ in referencing sexual sin. He did not go line by line detailing what the standard was as laid out by God previously in the commands Moses gave the people. Jesus did not repeat specifically, ‘Do not have sex with your neighbor’s wife.”  Does that mean now it’s ok? He didn’t say, “Do not have sex with your close relatives.” Does that mean now it’s ok?  Jesus did not explicitly say, “Do not have sex if you are not married.” Does that mean now it’s ok? He didn’t specifically say, “Do not have sex with the same gender.” Does that mean now it’s ok? He didn’t specifically say, “Do not have sex with animals.” Does that means that now it’s ok?

We are the same sexual beings as they were in Old Testament times. His guidelines given then were to bring them “life” and not destruction. Is the impact of our sexual behavior different now than it was then? Is there any less heartache and destruction caused by it? Are we in less need of God parameters?

Jesus not only held up the previous instructions as the standard of sexual purity, He raised them. He said, my paraphrase, “You’ve understood adultery to be actual sex with someone other than your spouse, I say, it also includes sex you’ve committed in your mind and heart. You’ve understood it’s ok to divorce your spouse because they displease you, I say, that was that only permitted because your hearts are hard. I say it is adultery if you divorce for any other reason than that your spouse has committed ‘porneia’, (an actual physical sexual act outside of with your spouse). I am calling you to not only sexual purity of the body, of also of the heart.” (Mark 7)

Some question how this is even possible. The disciples listening even asked. ‘What?!?’ 

But Jesus concluded this teaching, including many other seemingly impossible commands with a wrap up. He made it clear that to be on the path leading to eternal life, the way would be narrow and more difficult. The narrow way would not allow for us to keep all our baggage, it won’t all fit through the narrow gate. He made it clear that to not obey the instructions he’d just given was foolish. That it would be like building a house on sand, very destructive when the storms come. He made it clear that the way to death was wide and easy, the path of least resistance. He made it clear that to follow Him was to do the things He had just said to do. He made it clear that to do them was like building a house on a rock. That those who do, are wise. And when the storms, wind, and waves come, the house will remain standing and not be destroyed. (Mark 7-9)

We are all tempted to say, “God knows my heart. He knows I love Him. He knows my weaknesses. His grace covers it all. He forgives me. I can keep doing what I want and be ok with Him.” 

But doesn’t He get to be the one to decide what’s ok with Him?

Many of us have heard of love languages. The specific ways we each experience feeling loved. 

God has a love language….

It’s OBEDIENCE

Jesus, the exact representation of the Creator of the universe said, (John 14:15)

“IF YOU LOVE ME, YOU WILL KEEP MY COMMANDS”

Jesus was asked, “What is the greatest commandment?”

Again, He quoted from the Law God gave recorded in the Old Testament as the reference point. (Matt. 22:36-38)

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart.

Love the Lord your God with all your mind.

Love the Lord your God with all your soul.

Love the Lord your God with all your strength.” (Deut. 6:5)

“And only serve Him.” (Luke 4:8) (Deut. 6:13)

The connection between loving God and obeying Him are cover to cover in scripture. I invite you to do a word search on any Bible app. “Love” “obey” you will see them tied together. In Scripture these terms are also interlinked to the word “believe” and “faith.”

The things He told us to do may seem impossible by human standards. They are. But He did not leave us without the ability to obey Him.

He promised hundreds of years prior to Christ being born, foretelling of this coming Spirit who would come and help us to do this. In Ezekiel, God was addressing HIs people. Addressing that they had ‘profaned HIs name” Being ‘HIs people’ with His name (like we call ourselves His), yet living in behavior as the cultures around them. He said, “to purify My reputation” “My name”…”I will take out your heart of stone, and put in you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit in you to cause you to obey and take care to follow my commands. (Ezekiel 36:27)

He promised His Spirit, His power to overcome sin.

Paul writes in the New Testament, that we, without Christ, were literally slaves to a master. That master over us was sin. That Jesus’ death on the cross literally cut that off.  If we’ve surrendered our lives to Jesus’ ways, choose to make Him our King, sin no longer has the same power over us. We will still have a sin nature in us. But we are no longer slaves to it, but set free. We are then free to choose to follow the Spirit, who lives in us, leads us, and empowers us to do the things that God instructed. The things in Mark 7-9 that seemed impossible.(Rom. 5-6), 

Paul also wrote, that if we follow the Holy Spirit’s leading in our lives, we will not do what our remaining sin nature desires.(Gal. 5)

Committing our lives to God, placing ourselves under His authority, we can live in the SAME POWER that raised Jesus up from the dead. STOP right now and just think about that!

We can rise from the deadness of sin in our lives.

IN HIM-we can. And He expects it. The same grace that brought our forgiveness, is the same grace that gives us power over sin. 

IN HIM-we are overwhelming conquerors. 

This truth is for all of us in our sexuality and every area of our lives. We are all on a level playing ground, regardless of what our specific sin struggles may be. Married, single, man, woman, old, and young.

It is for life that we have been given instructions. 

It is for life that He has given us freedom over the power of sin. 

It is for life that we when we mess it up, we repent, and stop doing what we have been that is wrong. 

It is for life that we turn back to Him, His instructions, and love Him by obeying Him.

After all,

Isn’t He worth it?