“Not everyone who is shown love, learns how to love in return. Some people reject it. Some people twist it. Some people fear it so much that they destroy it before it can take root. And that is not because love given was weak, it is because they are unwilling or unable in their own power to receive it.”

“Think about what it means to receive love. To fully accept it without suspicion. It requires vulnerability. It requires knowing you have worth. It requires the ability to sit with love, instead of trying to control it. And for some people that is terrifying. Because to let love in, is to let go of the mask. To let love in is to face the wounds they’ve spent their entire lives avoiding. To let love in is to risk losing the power they think protects them. So they run, they sabotage, they inflict injury before they can be hurt themselves. They take and not give back, not because they don’t see its value, but because they don’t know how to handle something so pure.” -Brene Brown

I think we all can struggle in varying degrees, with being self-protective and not receiving the love given. Letting our old wounds run our lives. For some, it’s the essence and perspective they live life from. For others, it’s the occasional struggle. As this quote states, to receive love one has to know their worth, face their wounds, and sit in love without running from it or trying to control it. And without seeing oneself as the only person you can really depend on. In whatever degree that we all can wrestle with this, the beginning of our healing, and the answer to our need, is the pure love of God he has for us. The Scripture says 

“The love of God has been poured out in our hearts.” (Romans 5:5)

We can choose to trust in our own shields of protection (which are actually lies) or we can turn into the love God has for us. Lean into him. Ask him for help and be vulnerable and honest with him. As he reveals himself and his love for us, we need to choose to trust him and believe his perspective more than we trust our own perspective. Because our ways of thinking is as a force field around us, that we view circumstances around us through, and respond through. And it has been failing us. We need to believe the truth he shows and see the lies we have believed for what they are. God will not plow down our walls we hide behind. We have to choose to see them for what they are as he reveals them, and let them go. To turn away from believing we know best and believe He does, accepting the love and worth he has for us. Not just in our heads but telling him we’re ready to accept it poured into our hearts. Be willing to face our wounds with him. Be willing to sit in his love. When we choose self-dependence and control, we are literally choosing for the enemy of our souls and destroyer of our lives, to wreak all the havoc he wants on us and those we love. And he will. But God has another way. His love for us. And his power to fill us with himself and bring us healing and freedom and abundant lives. HIs power to bring real transformation in the ways we don’t have the power on our own. HIs power to say to those things that have flowed through the generations before us, “You shall not go any further.” Unless we let go of our chains, we will not have freedom. Let go. His love will be more than we dreamed.

“In the same way the Father loves me, 

I love you. 

Live in my love.” -Jesus (John 15:9)

“God I want to believe your love for me”

“I am ready for you to pour your love into my heart”

“Show me the lies I have believed”

“I’m so sorry for not believing you”

“You can have your way with the lies/walls I’ve been living behind, they haven’t been working. I have failed you and those I love.”

“I come to you Jesus, pour your love into my heart “

“You are worthy “

-Shanna